Getting into college is just a first step
Knowing how to navigate and make the most of the college experience is the hidden plight of the first generation college student.
Some students seem to be born with what it takes to be successful. It’s like there is a playbook and their parents have it. They pass it on from generation to generation.
The playbook includes academic knowledge, sure. If your parents read The New York Times every day and discuss world events with you, you’ll be more informed about world leaders and current events. If your parents take you on vacations around the world, you’re probably more likely to know where those countries exist on a map — or that they exist at all.
Then there’s the knowledge of how the higher education system works: how to get into college, what groups to join there and how to make the most of your college experience overall. Along with that, may also come a network: people who are there to help you on your way to success! This may include college professors, alums, business professionals, or maybe even a “college counselor” who can bribe your way into the school of your parent’s choosing. (Let’s not do this last one, OK?)
I had no idea what a difference it makes to have someone in your life with the playbook, who knows how to help.
Thanks to my aunt, I was able to visit a few campuses before applying to college. But, like my parents, she hadn't gone to college herself. And we didn’t know to setup any tours or interviews or, in some cases, enter a single building during our visits. I didn’t think I needed that then. Now it seems bonkers.
We drove all the way to Boston from southern New Jersey. Why didn’t I setup a tour? Why didn’t I ask questions? Well, for one thing, we didn’t know how valuable it could be. Another: I didn’t want to bother anyone — I didn’t want to have this need. I didn’t know I was allowed to.
Mostly, I applied to colleges relying on the opinions of a good-intentioned guidance counselor, a book of the “Best Colleges” that I managed to convince my dad to buy, and my own gut instinct. My application was submitted hours before the deadline. It also took months to convince my dad that I did indeed NEED his tax information in order to apply for financial aid, which I finally received the day before it was due.
I recall him asking me if I really needed to go to college, even after he had paid for me to take a short, SAT prep course at the high school.
RIDDLE ME THIS.
(Yes, I’ve spent most of my life confused and asking WHY?)
My college experience is a bit of a blur. My freshman year, I went to an expensive private out-of-state school because I didn’t want to let not having any money stop me from going. I would cry on the stairwell quite often. I knew I was struggling inside, but didn’t know why. An advisor there basically told me I didn’t belong there even though I was actually doing fine in my classes.
The next year, I took classes at the community college. I spent the last two years of undergrad at Rutgers University — the state school I probably should have started in.
During this same four year period, I filled my free time by hustling for money, working multiple part-time jobs and picking up side gigs. I graduated on time and with honors.
I thought that was a win. I made it through, I did well in my classes, I got the degree, and I even managed to pay rent, my phone bill and for car insurance (for both me and mom).
But I didn’t get what I was supposed to — what that playbook would have told me to get: university professors who would vouch for me for years to come or a social network that would land me a great job later.
(Want to know more? Read Pew Research Center’s report on how First-Generation College Graduates Lag Behind Their Peers on Key Economic Outcomes.)
This isn’t obvious. You know it or you don’t.
And, if your parents didn’t go to college and/or your family is considered low-income, there is going to be a lot about the before, during and after college experience that you won’t know about. You may not know that other people have a head start.
You might think the problem is you: that you’re not smart enough or good enough. You may feel like you just don’t belong anywhere.
But you do. You do belong.
So did I.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I’d known making friends in college was actually more valuable than any letter grade. Or if I had been able to take an unpaid internship instead of working at The GAP and Applebee’s.
I wonder how many more students from my high school would have gone to college if only price didn’t seem an insurmountable barrier. If only they had known what resources were available to them, would their lives have turned out different? (And would that be better?)
Despite still holding my student debt, I’m glad I went to college and am grateful for the support I did get. I always wanted to get my degree — I’d be the first in my family to. At 18, I decided I also wanted my master’s by the time I was 30. It was something I had to do, for better or worse, because I wanted my family to level up.
This, I have come to learn, is part of what it means to be a “first generation” college student. The more I talk to other millennial first-gen students, the more I realize how many of the confusing and frustrating experiences I had were, in part, because of this status. I am just now realizing how much this term fit me and how much this status shaped my life choices, my college career and, still, the amount of debt I have.
I often wonder: how can we level the playing field? How can we get more students who need extra help preparing for college — or even believing in themselves enough to go — those resources? College isn’t for everyone. I know that. But it should feel like an option.
I recently came across a program that is trying to fill exactly these gaps: TRIO Upward Bound. There are Upward Bound programs all over the country.
For the last few weeks, I’ve been connected with one in Oregon. I had the amazing opportunity to work with about 20 high school students who fit into this low-income or would-be first-gen college student category, teaching them basic journalism skills. We worked on writing, reading, interviewing and public speaking. However, so much of the class’ real purpose felt like just getting these smart, witty and creative students to believe in their capabilities and themselves.
It was challenging.
It was fun.
It was immensely fulfilling and, quite possibly, will go down as some of the most impactful weeks of my life.
These students taught me so much and I hope they each get the chance to succeed in their own way. I believe this program is giving them a better chance at success by giving them tutoring, resume workshops, and college experiences.
The purpose of Upward Bound has always been to foster, among low-income youths and potentially first generation college students enrolled in high school, the skills and motivation necessary for enrollment and success in education beyond high school.
The goal of the program is to increase the academic performance and motivation of eligible participants so that they may complete secondary school and successfully pursue postsecondary education programs.
I hadn’t really heard of it before this, though, and wondered why.
Maybe the program wasn’t around when I was in high school?
It’s actually been around a while — it began in 1965 with 18 pilot programs authorized by the Economic Opportunity Act of 1964, according to the U.S. Department of Education.
I talked about it with my mom and took a guess at where a program in southern New Jersey (we call it “South Jersey”) might have been located.
There is one Upward Bound program in the area and it is indeed where I thought it might be: Camden. There are some great things about Camden, but it also “known” as one of the toughest places to live in the state. In one recent ranking of the country’s “most dangerous cities” (based on crime rates), Camden ranked 14th.
In response, the mayor said this: “Unfortunately, Camden often gets painted with a broad brush. In the past Camden has been put on unsavory lists like this one with no base or reasoning.”
So, I can’t fault the local college for targeting this city’s school. But it does mean that the low-income and potential first generation college students in all the surrounding cities and towns aren’t getting this extra help. And, despite all those little blue dots on that map up above, there are still a lot of gaps.
More needs to be done to help our young people in so many ways. The how? is a question that lingers in my mind. It gives me hope, though, that programs like this exist — and that others are bothered by this question too.
Maybe it will be one of those 20 I met who will have the answer.
This was me as well! I took so many unnecessary classes before realizing I was supposed to even meet with a counselor. It took me 6 years and 3 colleges to get my bachelor's. Never knew about tours. Didn't even know I was supposed to go to orientation. Lived on my own from 19 and paid my student loans over 15 years. Fast forward to now having 2 teens in high school athletics with incredible grades and I am learning about academic scholarships and the recruitment process (student athletes have their own promo websites and are followed on social media by college coaches, etc). Anyway, thanks for the article. Good to know there are at least programs out there helping to navigate some students in need.
How great that you have had the opportunity this summer to boost the college preparation of students from families without a college background. You were destined to do this!